THE 'HALF PRICE BARISTA' BUNDLE 💰☕
$108 of value for just $54
We suck at math. You win. We’re giving you 1.5kg of fresh Aussie roasted beans for the price of 1kg. Plus the cheat codes to make your local barista jealous 😏
What's In The Box 👇
☕️ The Daily Drivers: (1x Dark & 1x Medium Roast) Bold, smooth, and reliable. Basically, the Golden Retriever of coffee beans (value $54).
💃 FREE "The Exotic Fling": (Costa Rica Single Origin) Fruity, fancy and will make you feel sophisticated while drinking it in your pyjamas (worth $35).
📜 FREE "The Cheat Codes": (Home Barista Guide) The most entertaining latte art guide you’ll ever read. Probably (worth $16).
🍫 FREE "The Sip Snack": (Choc Waffle Cup) Zero waste, 100% delicious (worth $3).
🤝 The 'No Regrets' Guarantee: Not swooning over the flavour? We'll swap flavours, troubleshoot your brew, or refund every cent – no awkward breakups, just bestie vibes.
The "Half-Price Barista" Bundle
"I buy the coffee beans because they are fresh and delicious!!"
The "Half-Price Barista" Bundle
VALUE: $108 | YOU PAY: $54 (SAVE 50%)
Fair Warning: These bundles fly faster than a double shot on a Monday. If the button above is green, pounce like a cat on a laser dot. If it’s grey... you missed it (sorry, check back soon) 😿
The 'No Regrets' Guarantee: Not swooning over the flavour? We'll swap, troubleshoot your brew, or refund every cent – no awkward breakups, just bestie vibes 🤝
THE SHAMELESS BRIBE
Rich, smooth, and won't text you at 2am. Pairs well with ghosting your alarm and your responsibilities 💃
How to pour latte art so your friends think you have your life together (we won't tell them you learned it in 5 minutes) 🤫
A chocolate-lined waffle cup. Drink the coffee, then eat the cup. Zero washing up. You’re a genius 😎
THE DIRTY COFFEE SECRET
Hi, I’m Toby, the guy behind Urban Brew 👋
Here's the dirty secret the big brands hide: you aren't paying for better beans. You’re funding a slow boat from Europe 🚢
They roast overseas and let pods sit in shipping containers for months. You pay a 'Corporate Coffee Tax' for coffee that went stale in the Indian Ocean 🌊
They were taking Aussies for a ride. So, I built a local roastery to take on the giants.
My mission was simple 👇
Fresh & Local: We kicked the middleman out of the group chat (he was annoying anyway) so you pay roaster-direct prices 👋
Eco-Conscious: Reduce aluminium waste. Because 500 years in a landfill is a long time ⏳
Fair: Cut out the corporate greed so you pay for the coffee, not their massive marketing budget 💸
Drink better. Spend less. Give your bank account a high-five.
BUT DON'T TAKE OUR WORD FOR IT
10+ Years. Thousands of Happy Addicts ⭐️
We aren't really in the coffee business, we’re in the "making you happy" business (and business is good).
We Literally Can't Delete Reviews 🚫
We chose Google & Feefo because they don't have a "delete" button. It’s scary, but it forces us to be better than the rest.
1-Star Reviews? Challenge Accepted 🥊
Usually, it's just Australia Post having a bad day (we see you, postie), but we don't hide. We reach out and fix it until you're smiling again.
Making Old-School Service Cool Again 😎
We treat you like a human, not a transaction ID. It’s all about service over sales and people before profit.
HEAR FROM PEOPLE WITH REAL JOBS
(SORRY INFLUENCERS)
Annalise V
Michael H
Shelley V
THE 'NO REGRETS' GUARANTEE 🤝
We're all sick of "guarantees" that are 90% fine print and 10% disappointment. So we’re keeping this simple.
If you're not happy with the taste, we'll fix it.
We'll swap flavours, troubleshoot your brew, or refund every single cent. No questions asked and no awkward breakups.
We pinky promise 🤙
The "Half-Price Barista" Bundle
"I buy the coffee beans because they are fresh and delicious!!"
The "Half-Price Barista" Bundle
VALUE: $108 | YOU PAY: $54 (SAVE 50%)
Fair Warning: These bundles fly faster than a double shot on a Monday. If the button above is green, pounce like a cat on a laser dot. If it’s grey... you missed it (sorry, check back soon) 😿
The 'No Regrets' Guarantee: Not swooning over the flavour? We'll swap, troubleshoot your brew, or refund every cent – no awkward breakups, just bestie vibes 🤝
WE TAKE YOUR HAPPINESS PERSONALLY 💖
Orders are dispatched fast (usually within 24 hours). We don't like waiting for coffee, neither should you.
Expect a handwritten note in every box. Yes, our hands cramp. No, we won't stop. You matter to us.
Got a question? A real human (probably high on espresso) will reply. No scripts, just help.
MEET THE MAKER
TOBY STRONG (THE PODFATHER 🤌)
If you’re still reading this far down, you’re either very thorough or you’re procrastinating from actual work. We respect both 🫡
Meet Toby. He was the first person to bring Nespresso®* compatible pods to Australia back in 2011 (back when planking was a thing). That makes him the OG. The Podfather.
He’s an entrepreneur, a "nice guy" (according to his mum) and the reason you're about to save a fortune on your morning brew.
Hit play to see if he looks like a "Toby" 👇
Or hit the “Caffeinate Me” button to teleport back to the deal and get your fix 🚀
STILL NOT CONVINCED?
We've been around for 10+ years and won a bunch of awards! Surely that counts for something?
LIKE WILLY WONKA’S
(BUT WITH FEWER LAWSUITS)
Roasting Coffee
Filling Pods
Packing Pods
The "Half-Price Barista" Bundle
"I buy the coffee beans because they are fresh and delicious!!"
The "Half-Price Barista" Bundle
VALUE: $108 | YOU PAY: $54 (SAVE 50%)
Fair Warning: These bundles fly faster than a double shot on a Monday. If the button above is green, pounce like a cat on a laser dot. If it’s grey... you missed it (sorry, check back soon) 😿
The 'No Regrets' Guarantee: Not swooning over the flavour? We'll swap, troubleshoot your brew, or refund every cent – no awkward breakups, just bestie vibes 🤝
YOUR HAPPINESS IS OUR ONLY KPI 📈 (Please be happy, our boss is watching)
👊 Punches Through Milk ☕ Roasted Daily 🤝 No Regrets Guarantee
